Is there anyone in the world who's actually read all 801 of my blog posts?
Not even my mom can say that. (Sniff.) Not even my husband. (Sob.) So, if you think you've mastered this most impressive of accomplishments, I hereby grant you 500 bonus points. Don't spend them all at once, y'hear?
2. There are a few skills I've realized that I will be useless at teaching my children: first, how to transfer towels to the dryer. With invariable, unfailing certainty, I leave the towels in the washer for a day and a half, until the mildewy smell emanating from our laundry room serves to remind me of my foul. A double hot-water wash does the trick, though, but yeesh. How hard is this to master? I never forget actual clothing, but towels seem to throw a wrench in my secret plans to obtain a Housewife of the Year award.
3. Second, I will never be able to teach my children how to hold a sparkler. I hate the things. They shoot fiery sparks in all directions, and it's a wonder I'll even let Mia try to hold one. This year at a 4th of July party we attended, Justin tried to teach her the joy of sparkling.
He helped her gain her grip.
And he jumped back as she threw the burning stick haphazardly backwards when she realized how evil a game this was.
I'll remind you never to stand near Mia when she's sparkling in the future, okay? She's a tosser.
4. Third, I'll never be able to teach my children how to swim, because I'm no good at going under water. I don't like the tickly invasion of my ears or nose, so how on earth will I ever prove that it's okay to go under if I can't model it for them without cringing?
Third-party swim lessons, that's how.
She's having the most stupendously bodacious time of her young life (so she says, but in less sarcastic terms) learning how to blow bubbles and kick effectively and dunk her head under water.
We're rough on our princesses around here...
7. You guys! Do you remember when I lost my engagement ring? Rather, do you remember when my princess-torturing preschooler lost my engagement ring for me?
Guess what we found under her dresser when we combined the girls' bedrooms last weekend?
Yep. I am whole again.
Thanks for visiting with me today! Have a beautiful weekend, and stop by Conversion Diary for more Quick Takes!