Originally published November 25, 2009. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! I hope your day was wonderful!
If I am grateful for the wonders of motherhood, I am equally grateful for patience in handling motherhood. When I am driven thisclose to losing my temper, stopping to be grateful for the chance to practice patience is sometimes the furthest thought from my mind. But, to live in gratitude means that I must seek out ways to experience its beauty.
When the box of broken and tattered crayons is spilled (dumped?) for the 5th time in an afternoon, sending bits of waxy crumbs all over the kitchen floor, I am grateful for the chance to illustrate a life lesson: dump the crayons, and coloring is over.
When my 19-month old scales the bistro-table-height chairs before climbing to the edge of the even-taller kitchen table to do a dance which will knock over a glass of juice, I am grateful that she is strong and able. I am grateful that she did not fall -- this time. I am grateful for the industrial sized jug of juice that is waiting in the wings, and the drawer full of towels to clean up the mess. I am grateful that she has such great dance moves; I hear those are handy.
When my big girl tells me she doesn't love me anymore, she only loves daddy now instead, I am thankful that she has such a wonderful father to love. Perhaps even more (selfishly so), I am thankful that I have a husband who will quickly enumerate for Mia all the reasons she should be thankful for me. I am thankful for her comfort in speaking her feelings, even when they aren't what I want to hear. I am thankful that she will most certainly change her allegiance again tomorrow.
When there is toddler poop under my fingernails after an energetic diaper-changing session, I am grateful for warm water and foaming soap. I am grateful that potty training is just around the corner. I am grateful that my child has enough healthy food to keep her body working regularly. I am grateful for my cold which prevents me from smelling the disastrous diaper.
When eating out at a restaurant and Mia is fascinated enough by a woman with generous proportions to say (loudly): "I think she ate too much food, her belly is FULL!" I am thankful for Lauren's impatient yelling which has hopefully obscured her sister's insult. I am thankful for Mia's inquiring mind and imaginative thoughts. I am thankful that our budget limits our ability to dine out on a regular basis, therefore Mia's highly descriptive words aren't set upon the general public very often.
When my daughters wreck a room with spilled snacks, scattered toys, and screaming chaos, I am grateful that we are able to provide them with a safe place to mess up at all. I am grateful that they can entertain themselves. I am grateful that they are unbearably cute, because sometimes they can behave SO unattractively that the cuteness seems to be their only redeeming quality.
When it has been a long day filled with some combination of all of the above instances, I am filled with profound gratitude that my husband is no longer a road-warrior; he will be home soon. All I have to do is find a small measure of patience to sustain me until he arrives. Or until bedtime -- the point at which we can look back on the wonder of another day spent raising children and laugh at the antics of our darling daughters. Because, strangely enough, the time they spend sleeping seems to be the time when our gratitude is downright overflowing.
Go figure.
In what unpredictably messy moments do you experience gratitude? (Even if it's forced...)
Showing posts with label Reruns. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Reruns. Show all posts
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Rerun: Grateful Mothering
Originally published November 24, 2009.
Being a mother has been one of the most gratitude-fraught experiences of my life thus far. Yes, 'fraught'; sometimes the thankfulness is so deep and broad that it sucks everything else into its sphere. Sometimes the simple fact of my own motherhood terrifies me and forces me into places I'd never dreamed of before. But there is grace in that terror, as well. For without my children, I fear I'd be missing out on learning true gratitude.
I've experienced grace in the willingness of my body to support life. The process of assisting in the creation of a new soul is pure magic and adventure, filling my own old, cynical soul with wonder and gratitude. I am grateful that I've had the chance to be filled with such innocent and untouched life, feeling the tumbles and stretches, the kicks and prods, from the inside out. Perhaps the most shockingly grace-filled moments were when I first laid eyes on my children; learning their faces only to watch them change instantly.
Being able to provide every ounce of nourishment for them from within myself is something for which I will forever be thankful. It amazes me -- AMAZES ME --that everything they needed as infants was available within my hopeful embrace...sustaining them, sustaining me. I can't even express the joy that came with snuggling a warm, round body against my own and knowing that she was benefiting even more than I was. I am thankful for the helpful guidance I received while learning the art of breastfeeding. I am thankful that I had the opportunity to stay at home with them -- not having to worry about pumping enough milk or weaning to bottles before I was ready. Which turned out to be never, so, I am also thankful that the cost and time-consuming qualities of bottle feeding weren't ever a necessity.
As these girls have grown, I have been filled with gratitude at their wonderfully different personalities. Two unique individuals, two people with whom I can relate differently, two ways to experience gratitude in innumerable moments every day. Two separately beautiful, yet stunningly unified ways to teach me grace and humility at each new experience.
But those things are all based upon my experiences; the truly gratitude-worthy items are centered around the experiences of my daughters. It is wonderful to realize that I am thankful for their benefit.
I am thankful for the chances they have in life, for the unfolding stories in which they are unknowingly participating. I am thankful for the family surrounding them: grandparents, aunts & uncles, cousins, church friends, and friends for life. All of these people are ensuring that my children will never know loneliness or uncertainty in being cared for. I am so grateful that my children will always be loved and wanted.
I am grateful for the simple things they have access to, which so many children do not: warm beds, warm clothing, warm food, warm arms.
My gratitude turns into hope for their futures. I hope they know how much they are loved and appreciated. I hope they trust in their dreams. I hope they trust in God. I hope they find endless ways to practice gratitude in their growing-up lives.
And I hope I will never fail to be aware of all the ways that these children bless me -- fill me with gratitude -- with their very existence.
Being a mother has been one of the most gratitude-fraught experiences of my life thus far. Yes, 'fraught'; sometimes the thankfulness is so deep and broad that it sucks everything else into its sphere. Sometimes the simple fact of my own motherhood terrifies me and forces me into places I'd never dreamed of before. But there is grace in that terror, as well. For without my children, I fear I'd be missing out on learning true gratitude.
I've experienced grace in the willingness of my body to support life. The process of assisting in the creation of a new soul is pure magic and adventure, filling my own old, cynical soul with wonder and gratitude. I am grateful that I've had the chance to be filled with such innocent and untouched life, feeling the tumbles and stretches, the kicks and prods, from the inside out. Perhaps the most shockingly grace-filled moments were when I first laid eyes on my children; learning their faces only to watch them change instantly.
Being able to provide every ounce of nourishment for them from within myself is something for which I will forever be thankful. It amazes me -- AMAZES ME --that everything they needed as infants was available within my hopeful embrace...sustaining them, sustaining me. I can't even express the joy that came with snuggling a warm, round body against my own and knowing that she was benefiting even more than I was. I am thankful for the helpful guidance I received while learning the art of breastfeeding. I am thankful that I had the opportunity to stay at home with them -- not having to worry about pumping enough milk or weaning to bottles before I was ready. Which turned out to be never, so, I am also thankful that the cost and time-consuming qualities of bottle feeding weren't ever a necessity.
As these girls have grown, I have been filled with gratitude at their wonderfully different personalities. Two unique individuals, two people with whom I can relate differently, two ways to experience gratitude in innumerable moments every day. Two separately beautiful, yet stunningly unified ways to teach me grace and humility at each new experience.
But those things are all based upon my experiences; the truly gratitude-worthy items are centered around the experiences of my daughters. It is wonderful to realize that I am thankful for their benefit.
I am thankful for the chances they have in life, for the unfolding stories in which they are unknowingly participating. I am thankful for the family surrounding them: grandparents, aunts & uncles, cousins, church friends, and friends for life. All of these people are ensuring that my children will never know loneliness or uncertainty in being cared for. I am so grateful that my children will always be loved and wanted.
I am grateful for the simple things they have access to, which so many children do not: warm beds, warm clothing, warm food, warm arms.
My gratitude turns into hope for their futures. I hope they know how much they are loved and appreciated. I hope they trust in their dreams. I hope they trust in God. I hope they find endless ways to practice gratitude in their growing-up lives.
And I hope I will never fail to be aware of all the ways that these children bless me -- fill me with gratitude -- with their very existence.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Rerun: Sensations of Gratitude
Originally posted on November 23, 2009; I liked my Thanksgiving series so much that I'm rerunning it this year!
I am grateful for the ability to feel, to be touched by this beautiful world in millions of tangible ways: I am grateful for sensations.
The smooth and tight coolness of fresh sheets waiting to envelop me at the end of a back-breaking day: I feel rest.
The warmth of a tear, either in a single drop or in a torrent of moisture, as it courses down my cheek: I feel memories.
The grasp of a miniature hand at my thigh, reaching up, up, for a mother's cradle: I feel love.
The rumble of a cat's purr under her silken coat, delighting in my wayward touch: I feel compassion.
The rounded swishing of dried beans as they're being rinsed in cool water, agitated by my capable hands and prepared for a simple meal: I feel security.
The crinkled sheets of artwork made with concentration by my darling girls, rustling and misaligned: I feel creativity.
The mindless caress of my husband's strong hand over my skin: I feel adoration.
The crushing chop of a sharp knife through raw vegetables; the wooden board confidently matching the metal edge: I feel contrast.
The delicate softness of a recipe card as it's being pulled from its hiding place, covered with my Grandmother's handwriting, and inscribed with family tradition: I feel sadness.
The slippery scalp of a child at bathtime, bubbled and squeaking after a day of messy imagination: I feel care.
The floating emptiness that surrounds me -- transports me -- as I pray my deepest thoughts to my Lord: I feel God.
I am so thankful to have the ability to feel and to notice sensations as they happen. What a remarkable gift it is to feel, and in feeling, to evoke emotional sensation as well.
What sensations are you grateful for, at this very moment?
I am grateful for the ability to feel, to be touched by this beautiful world in millions of tangible ways: I am grateful for sensations.
The smooth and tight coolness of fresh sheets waiting to envelop me at the end of a back-breaking day: I feel rest.
The warmth of a tear, either in a single drop or in a torrent of moisture, as it courses down my cheek: I feel memories.
The grasp of a miniature hand at my thigh, reaching up, up, for a mother's cradle: I feel love.
The rumble of a cat's purr under her silken coat, delighting in my wayward touch: I feel compassion.
The rounded swishing of dried beans as they're being rinsed in cool water, agitated by my capable hands and prepared for a simple meal: I feel security.
The crinkled sheets of artwork made with concentration by my darling girls, rustling and misaligned: I feel creativity.
The mindless caress of my husband's strong hand over my skin: I feel adoration.
The crushing chop of a sharp knife through raw vegetables; the wooden board confidently matching the metal edge: I feel contrast.
The delicate softness of a recipe card as it's being pulled from its hiding place, covered with my Grandmother's handwriting, and inscribed with family tradition: I feel sadness.
The slippery scalp of a child at bathtime, bubbled and squeaking after a day of messy imagination: I feel care.
The floating emptiness that surrounds me -- transports me -- as I pray my deepest thoughts to my Lord: I feel God.
I am so thankful to have the ability to feel and to notice sensations as they happen. What a remarkable gift it is to feel, and in feeling, to evoke emotional sensation as well.
What sensations are you grateful for, at this very moment?
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