Monday, February 22, 2010

Lauren's Evasive Tactics

I don't think The Terrible Twos heeded my request to leave us alone a few months ago. I do think they thought I was funny and are playing tricks with me, though.

Lauren is such a sweetheart -- loving and funny, shy and playful -- that I can't help but think her toddler years will continue to be easy breezy. But I'm no sucker. (Stop that snickering.) There's no rule that says the sweetest of children can't also be a handful, and I think that's where we're about to go with Lauren.

When she grabs something she's not supposed to be playing with (which happens, like, every other second these days) and sees me coming after her in hot pursuit, she spins those little legs and darts quickly away. The exhilarated smile on her face and naughty twinkle in her eye tell me she's a stinker. A sweet little stinker.

As soon as I catch up to her, she does what any cornered animal does in such a situation. She protects her contraband. Whatever's in her hand goes immediately into her mouth.

Chapstick? In the mouth.

A Quarter? In the mouth.

My cell phone? In the mouth.

I try hard to scold her,'s pretty funny trying to see how quickly she'll shove the stolen item in her mouth. Especially when it's just not the right size to fit in there. I think she just figures, well I'm already in trouble, I might as well go all out.

I've gotten wise to her tactics lately though. I try to sneak in and steal the item back from her without spooking her into inhaling it first. This is only as hard as faking left, then going right, but it's important nonetheless. Because sometimes the little thing she's playing with illegally is really better off NOT in her mouth.

Camera battery? Not good.

A dollar bill? Not good.

Banana chunk dropped and then rolled behind the trashcan? SO NOT GOOD.

Although I'm beginning to wonder if I'm going about this the wrong way. Maybe the simpler way would be to catch her attention with something she wants worse than the outlawed item in her hand. The old 'bait & switch'.

Now if I only knew what to use as bait...


  1. Good thing she's so adorable.

    And hey, if you figure out how to solve this problem, please let me know! I can tell that Millie is definitely going to give me more "issues" than my first...

  2. Ha! Too funny :) I've heard that second borns tend to me more mischevious :)

  3. What a sweet description! That little rascal sure seems to love her oranges though. Those are great pictures!

  4. Oh, this makes me laugh...I've got a little crawler who does the same thing. It IS so hard not to laugh when they do it!!

  5. OK, that made me laugh HARD. I remember the progeny doing the same thing. But oh is she cute!

  6. Too cute! Maybe she heard about the priest from Iowa who was counseling an inmate at the local prison and ate his notes because the prison guard wanted to confiscate them. (real...not a joke!) This may be a life skill I never learned!

  7. I'm sitting here cracking up because Paige is the same way - can you imagine the two of them together? It would be insane! They'd be sticking things in their mouths (Paige's favorite are the marker caps... she gets them in completely, don't ask me how...), looking at each other and run off giggling... ha!

  8. I don't think we can ever meet in person, because if your Lauren meets my Eli (what is it about those second borns?!) they just might go on a joint world rampage. They'll blind everyone with their cuteness and conquer the globe in four days flat. And then they'll eat all the dollar bills they want while their mothers sit off to the side wondering where they went wrong....

    P.S. My bait would be Craisins. He can't resist 'em :)


Hmm...And how did that make you FEEL?