Wednesday, September 9, 2009

What Fun Would Life Be Without Some Quirks?

You know what's strange about me? Besides the obvious, I mean? Well here: Let me introduce you to The Real Sarah.



- I will not allow myself to have just one wet hand. Both must get wet if one must. If I accidentally touch a wet object with my right hand, it's a guarantee that I will soon be rubbing my hands together to transfer the wetness to my dry left hand. It's not enough to simply DRY OFF the wet hand; the other hand has to be wet before either can be dried. Also? When my daughter puts soap on her dry hands, my brain registers an emergency that must be remedied by water immediately. I think I may even hold my breath until water is added to the soap.

- In the same category, I cannot peel a dry potato. It must be wet before the peeling can begin. Otherwise, it's like nails on a chalkboard. *shudder* By the way, when I actually do hear nails on a chalkboard (or some similar harsh and uncomfortable noise), I must immediately scratch my fingernails across denim in order to make the bad feelings go away. Canvas works well too. Nothing too supple or velvety - that would only make the bad feelings worse.

- I get easily confused between the number 5 and the letter E. Or the number 4 and the letter R. They are nearly interchangeable in my mind, and when a string of numbers and letters is mixed together (on a license plate, for example), I need to concentrate very hard or else the 5's will become E's and vice-versa; The R's will become 4's.

- When hair gets stuck under collars, I go a little crazy. I get so distracted by this annoyance that I can barely function until I've freed that hair from bondage. And I'm not talking about my own hair - it never gets anywhere close to the collar before I've either smoothed it away to safety, or cut it off entirely. I'm talking about other people's hair. I start to get squirmy and itchy just thinking about a lock of hair being tucked into a tall collar or - heaven forbid - a turtleneck. But I've realized it's just not polite to untuck a stranger's collar-bound hair. They'll quickly become weirded out by such an intimate gesture (not to mention how red MY cheeks would be). Over the years, I've trained myself to endure the aggravation silently while trying to tear my eyes away from the black hole of a hair-filled collar. But if you knew the battle that raged behind my benign smile...it's a sickness.

- I have a hard time speaking the words 'eggs and bacon.' Inevitably, I get my mords wixed and what I will say is 'beggs & acon.' No matter how hard I visualize the pair of words, the objects themselves, or the letters in the words, it is almost always out of my control and I usually bungle it. So if I invite you for breakfast, you could expect a written menu before I'd tell you what we'd be having.

- If there are any toys left out in the living room at night, I need to arrange them comfortably before I turn the lights off. This rule only applies to stuffed animals and dolls - like they're living creatures who would be uncomfortable 'sleeping' while crushed under a Thomas train. If there are more than one of them, they must be put together in a cuddly position, so that they can rest easily overnight - arms embracing one another, leaned back against a soft pillow, no -erm - bottoms resting against faces. Can you imagine sleeping with a backside smashed against your nose?! Yes, I know. This one is truly disturbing. I think it's due to some residual feeling of tenderness towards The Velveteen Rabbit. (Are you familiar with that story? Where they toys are real, with feelings and actions?) Otherwise I'm just a certified nut job, and I'd really prefer to be affected by a children's story than to be a real, live nut job.


Whew! I feel better now, having that all out in the open. But you know what would make me feel REALLY great?

Hearing about your quirks. Then I'd not be so worried about myself after seeing all that nonsense in writing up there.

So 'fess up.

We're all friends here, aren't we?

*crickets chirping*

AREN'T WE?!

Love,
Sarah The Kooky The Pushy The Heavenly


PS - This post is included in Real Life's Your Life Your Blog, where you can link up to a post from the previous week - check it out!

20 comments:

  1. I cannot, I repeat CANNOT stand for there to be wrinkles in the bedspread. I stretch and pull our bedspread until it is perfectly smooth every single morning, and if Dave sits on it afterwards I just can't rest until I've fixed it. It doesn't help that we have a bedspread that is chronically wrinkly. In fact, that is my one requirement when we purchase new bedding, that it does not wrinkle easily.

    Weird, I know. But you're right -- what would life be like if we were all the same?

    Here's to being quirky :)

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  2. Oh I have several-too many to mention (or that I can even think of). I'm right there with you on the hair thing, I also feel a need to sometimes tuck hair behind the ear if it is so out of place and yes, I have to restrain myself from imposing this weirdness on strangers. I recently mentioned to my sister that I won't buy apples without the stems because I'm afraid it opens the apple and makes it vulnerable to any bug or weird whatever you woulnd't want lurking in your apples...I didn't realize this was such a weird view.

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  3. wow - that was pretty funny to read!

    I can't stand things touching the front of my neck. I can't wear choker necklaces or sit in the pool with the waterlevel on my neck. Ahhh!

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  4. Alright, I'm right there with you on the wet hand thing, the soap thing, and definitely the dolls/animals sleeping thing. I also have a thing about people standing or siting too close to me- especially standing! Um, personal space? I need a lot of it.

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  5. This is awesome!! :) I have the 5 / E problem too.

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  6. I have the coolest readers!

    Amy - I think your bedspread mania sounds completely normal...what does that say about me?!

    Katie - Well thanks friend, now I'll be checking my apples for stems :)

    Kacie - You reminded me (somehow) that I also cannot take it when pants/skirts waistlines actually *touch* my belly button. Terrible. But how I got from necks to belly buttons is beyond me!

    Sarah - You do the dolls/animals thing too?! Maybe we're the normal ones, and everyone else is heartless :)

    Chelsea - No WAY?! Want to start a club? We could call ourselves TH5 SP5LL SIST5RS.

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  7. Haha..these are all quite funny to read...I think I might be too lazy to be that ....hmm...intense

    Found your blog through Amy @ My Front Porch...super cute :)

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  8. Funny.

    Our car has dual climate control. When I am driving, the temperature on both the driver's side and the passenger side has to be the same, even though no one is sitting in the passenger seat. I adjust both if I adjust one.

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  9. I require constant air flow over my face when I'm driving -a/c, heat, vent, whatever...

    I brush my teeth with the hottest water the tap can produce.

    If meat is part of a meal, I can't cut as I go- I have to cut all of it into bite-size pieces before I start eating.

    And.... I think that's all the Lenae-weirdness I'll share for now. As for your first two bullets, I'm right along there with you! Down with lone dry hands and dry potato peeling!!! :)

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  10. Okay, had to come back....I figured it out

    Ice. I am VERY picky about my ice. I hate big blog ice. My favorite is the hollow blocks that have air in them. I also like the cylinders with the holes in the middle....I will drive across town to get a pop from the gas station that has the GOOD ice.
    Good thing it's not that big of a town :)

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  11. I have no quirks. I am totally normal.

    Unless you count sleeping while chewing gum. Yes, every night. I used to get up and brush my teeth every time I awoke; now I just put a piece of gum in my mouth. Strangely I do not worry about choking.

    I can't stand sand on my feet. I find it rather disgusting; unless I am at the beach in which case it bothers me not.

    I have to sleep wrapped up in a down comforter -- like an adult-sized swaddle. I refuse to call it a "security blanket".

    I am sure that this is merely scratching the surface.

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  12. I absolutely CANNOT stand an empty, but unflattened straw wrapper. It makes me CRAZY. My palms start to itch just thinking about it. You know, right in the center? Anyway, it's intense. I would (and have) dig a straw wrapper out of the trash in a fast food restaurant just to flatten it out. So please, please, please...flatten your wrappers!

    And in return, I promise to keep my hair loose and untethered by the back of my coat.

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  13. It drives me crazy to see colors not lined up in rainbow order (red-orange-yellow-green-blue-purple). I especially hate rainbows drawn with the colors out of order. I've been known to line up laundry in rainbow order as I take it out of the dryer. Bella used to have colored stacking cups that stacked up in the Wrong Order. Drove me bonkers!

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  14. Nicole - I understand your point - it makes perfect sense to me :)

    Lenae - You're wacked out! (I can say that because we're blog buddies :)) Your quirks are opposite of some quirks I'd forgotten about myself. I WILL not let the vents blow on my face in the car - big no no. I WILL not use anything but ice cold tap water while brushing my teeth. And...well I have no preference for my meat. Other than it needs to be charred :)


    BabyFactory Katie - Love your ice fetish :) I myself have been known to drive to sonic just for a cup of their itty bitty ice. Mmmmm.

    Rebecca - Yes, WE are normal, all the others are freaks. I think you need to blog your list; it seems even cooler and more disturbing than mine ;)

    Emily - Oooh, that's a good one! On top of that, I like to tie it in a knot and see if it will tear before the knot is completely tightened. I appreciate your hair promise :)

    Melanie - Now THAT is interesting. You may win my quirk-prize. Check's in the mail ;)

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  15. Loved reading these! However, none of them struck me as that weird. I have to think. I know I have lots of weird quirks. I should blog about them.

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  16. I cannot get into an unmade bed. My hubby works nights and so is often in the bed during the day. When I finally get to my room at night I must make the bed before I can get into it.

    I cannot be late. I've been so nerved out by running behind I've almost thrown up. Consequently, I am early for EVERYTHING.

    I always have a penny lying on the floor in my closet. (I don't know why.) If my hubby picks it up, then I hide another one somewhere else in the closet. I have no reason, it just must be there.

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  17. I am so with you on the peeling a dry potato thing.. I am shuddering.

    Personally, I seem to be unable to leave any dirty dishes in the sink before I go to bed. They must all be taken care of.

    I also have a very hard time going barefoot for some reason but I am working on this one.

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  18. Really? What if your hand is wet from cleaning up a pee mess? (This happens to me a lot, so it came to mind quickly.)

    Mine is not nails on a chalkboard but on a window screen, vinyl or metal kind, it doesn't matter. Uh!

    But I like peeling potatoes dry better because they don't stick to everything then. Call me crazy! :)

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  19. I commented here, but then I got distracted and I think I closed the window without posting! If this is a duplicate, please disregard...

    I have the same wet hand thing - I have to transfer the water to the dry hand before I can even think about a towel for the wet one!

    My hair thing is when most of the hair is behind the ear, and there is one clump of hair left hanging in front - I can't stand it!

    I also can't stand when people scrape their forks against their teeth when they eat. I keep a set of plastic utensils in my kitchen, which repeat offenders are made to eat with. I have actually taken silverware away from friends who refused to discontinue the scraping after being warned.

    And I can't drink water or crunch ice while touching metal (holding a fork or keys, touching a door knob, etc.) because I feel like I can taste the metal. Gag.

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  20. I also can't stand to have air blowing at my face, like from the vents in the car. I can't sleep facing my husband if he's facing me because I can feel him breathing at me.

    Sometimes I type the wrong suffixes on verbs completely without knowing it. I will think, "I walked to the store" and then proofred my typing to find, "I walking to the store." Fortunately I know to read over my typing before sharing it with the world.

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Hmm...And how did that make you FEEL?