Wednesday, June 3, 2009

It's Cool; I Feel Alive

I have an addictive personality. And I don't mean that when you meet me, you will be so bowled over by my charm and wit that you'll become addicted to me. (Although, you might be. Stranger things have happened.) No, what I mean is that I easily get addicted to things.


Routine is one of those things. I imagine that has a lot to do with control.


Reading is another of those things. I sometimes read to the exclusion of all else (except of course, routine), forsaking real life until the book is finished.


I may or may not be addicted to blog comments...only time will tell. It doesn't look good though, my friends. It doesn't look good.


Donuts are yet another example of my propensity to be addicted.


Knowing how bad they are for me, I frequently swear off donuts - unlike some of my other addictions. Only, my mind is so often deceived by the evil donut-devil, that I am frequently tricked into consuming them. I arm myself while navigating the bakery aisles with facts and intelligent reasoning. You JUST bought everything to make cookies with. You need to keep your arteries healthy. You are trying to stick to a budget that will allow you to stay at home with the kids for as long as possible. High cholesterol runs in the family. Your youthful metabolism won't always hide your addiction from public view. You need to set a good example for your daughters. All of these reminders are flowing through my head as I cross paths with the Krispy Kreme display.


Suddenly, the dialogue wavers as a handsome donut-devil grasps hold of my clammy hand and lovingly guides me off track. Now I am thinking, You JUST bought cookie stuff, so what's the difference between that and donuts? You need soft foods because your mouth is still sore from surgery. These aren't even whole donuts - these are mere holes. Tiny. You can just have one or two, rather than a whole huge donut. But wait...$4.39 for HOLES? That's boo-hawkie. A dozen regular glazed are only one dollar more - think of the savings. From a volume standpoint, that's way more donut for your money. Only, those crullers are just $3.49. Smallish, cakeish, and they look VERY soft...Yes, get the crullers and just put back those Oreo Cakesters you snuck in earlier. Who were you trying to fool?! But now, that's not fair, Cakesters are only $2.50. Just get them anyway, and you'll not need any more sweets for WEEKS.


I have no willpower, you see?


And if only I'd quit swearing them off, the donuts would surely lose their appeal soon. When I go for a week or (*gasp!*) two without donuts due to my latest attack of conscience, they only taste THAT much more amazing when I fall off the wagon again. They're much easier to justify then, as well. It's been 12 DAYS! You're a rockstar! You deserve a treat...just one little single serving from the a la carte bakery stand won't hurt! It's not like you'll get a whole box. Ooooh, there are only 3 chocolate covered cake donuts left! You better grab them, and go ahead and get 3 more to make an even half-dozen. (YOU ARE SUCH A LOSER!) Wait, what? Who was that?


Tell me I'm not the only one. Tell me you're addicted to something, too?

5 comments:

  1. I'm a donut addict too. Shoot, I'm an everything-that's-bad-for-you addict. Take heart. We can overcome! :)

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  2. Aaah, donuts...the breakfast of champions! Just thought I'd let you know that I was actually eating a donut while reading this post...funny :)

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  3. h yes, donuts. We just moved down the street from a hostess outlet-my demise! I quickly became a frequent "donette" buyer. Those little suckers are just the right size to just pop in your mouth. I had a whole list of very reasonable rationalizations that all ended with me inhaling entire boxes of donuts. I had to just quit, cold turkey. It was the only way! Then I moved on to frozen sheets of puffed pastry. I would thaw one out, throw some yummy jam in there and think, "this will make a nice dessert for everyone." Everyone actually meant a ratio of 1:3. I for my husband, none for my little girls, 3 for me. So as you can see, I can empathize!

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  4. ha ha, i'm addicted to your blog oh and i love donuts too!

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  5. Reading, in the worst way!

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Hmm...And how did that make you FEEL?