The Rime Of The Ancient Molar

Only satire can relieve my pain. So here I go:

There was once a prehistoric lady
Who lived in a homey cave.
She had no proper cooking utensils,
So her meals were fairly grave.

Neither was her hygiene in order,
This lady she stank somethin' fierce.
Her mouth was all in a shambles,
Her teeth - they no longer could pierce.

Her hearty cave dwelling diet,
Full of dinosaur bones and roots,
Had left her shape quite distorted,
She was built like a lumpy fruit.

Her mighty cave husband, a devilish brute,
Was plumb fed up with her ways.
So he sent her off with leftover loot;
She was no longer allowed in his cave.

Wandering and scavenging soon took their toll,
Our lady cave-friend was changed.
Her pear shaped body had grown so thin,
On her hips, her leaf-skirt did hang.

With time and with hardship, this lady,
She learned to survive on her own
She hunted and fished and wandered
Wishing she could go back home.

One day she noticed with wonder
That now in the back of her mouth,
Were shiny new teeth all sharp and white;
Though her old teeth had long fallen out.

Hooray! Shouted she, I'm saved!
For my husband must now take me back!
These teeth, these teeth, these beautiful teeth
Have gained me some well deserved slack.

That cave husband, mine, will look at me now
And see only shiny new choppers.
He'll wonder just where I've been all his life
He'll give me the best of his offers.

Hold up...Thought Mrs. Cave Man.
Why wait around for the Mister?
He might take me back but then
I'd be working so hard that I'd blister.

So she made up her mind, right then and right there
To never go back to that cave man.
Her new set of teeth and new sense of courage
Would be her loving companions.

And this is why my dear friends,
We're burdened with wisdom teeth.
Some random cave lady, in prehistoric times
Needed them to get back on her feet.

When next you start your complaining
Just remember - in another time and place,
Those teeth that have you aching
Would have been your saving grace.