Monday, January 25, 2010

While I Hum A Merry Tune

Sometimes at the end of the day, bathtime is the least appealing thing to be faced with. Yes, my girls are adorable all lathered up and splashing (and I'm thankful that we have warm water in which to splash, agreed), but...ugh. It's probably been a long day by that point and I'm ready for the handsome husband to take over while I do something else. Something quiet and alone. Every so often I'd rather be cleaning up the dinner mess, folding laundry, staring at the sunset, anything but another minute of chattering noise and attention.

This is selfish of me, yes.

But it is true.

One night last week, Justin read my open book of a face and said some magical words which I vow never to forget:

Why don't you vacuum while I take care of bathtime?

I looked at him with adoration and a slightly weepy countenance. Right now? I asked. You want me to...skip I can vacuum?

He nodded in encouragement, and I planted a kiss square on his lips. My hero.

A few months ago, I would have been as equally averse to both bathtime and vacuuming at the end of tiring day. But one of my best Christmas gifts changed all of that:

Now I am a card-carrying, sonnet-singing, machinery-praising Dyson owner, thanks to Justin's mom. It's so powerful. And light. And efficient. And gorgeous. I turn it on and transform into a graceful dancer; the Dyson follows my confident lead, and together -- a perfect team -- we clean house.

The magnificent purple ball (the engine, I believe) rolls over our old, worn-out carpet, seeking hidden dust and crumbs, sweeping away the evidence of toddlers. I push my lovely Dyson one handed, gracefully moving around furniture and marveling at the swirling nastiness encapsulated within its canister. I sigh. I smile. The fact that I'm doing this while bathtime is underway is just too perfect for words. It's just me and the vacuum. Dancing all over the house.

Plus, there's the added benefit of getting to peer into the canister and squeal with disgusted glee over the sheer volume of junk that gets trapped in our carpet. Justin has been angling for months to put in wood laminate flooring to alleviate the feeling of dust-infested carpet underfoot. But now? No sir. I want carpet. I need carpet. My Dyson and I MUST HAVE CARPET to dance upon. We need carpet to further the time we have to get to know one another, and we're only getting started. I only know that I love it.

Our old vacuum took all of my (limited, but feisty) muscle power to monster its way around the house. It was stunningly loud -- the girls would cower together on a bed, behind a closed door, until the terrifying creature was finished roaring. The Dyson, not so much. I can hold a conversation with a brave little girl who watches from the couch as the box of cereal she upturned in the living room is being swept away. I can hear myself composing love poems to the beautiful appliance. I can hear my adorable woodland creature friends chirping and ooh-ing and ahh-ing and coo-ing at the efficiency and speed with which my household chores are completed.

Fine. That last part was clearly stolen from a fairy tale.

My household chores are never completed with efficient speed, though my woodland friends are supportive of my efforts. Even a Dyson can't fix lazy.

But it's sure doing a good job convincing me of its loveliness in the meantime. Especially when that convincing begins at precisely the same hour as bathtime.


  1. Ah, Dyson. What a perfect machine, no?

    And I'm with you on bathtime. I've been known to beg, barter, and plea for those few minutes of solitude!

  2. Oh I am so jealous, it seems as though everyone is getting a Dyson but me-my sister-in-law just got one for her birthday. I'm not sure what's more sad, the fact that I am so envious of you and your vacuum cleaner or the fact that I ask for things like a vacuum cleaner for Christmas and Birthday ha ha. Hey, wanna come use your new Dyson at my house?

  3. What a beautiful love your vacuum!! I am green with envy over here with my loud, old, heavy vacuum.

    You deserve a little ballet with your Dyson!

  4. Oooohh Ahhhhh. I want one!!!

  5. I LOVE our Dyson as well. In fact, my 3 year old now refers to it as Mr. Dyson b/c she knows we give that thing LOTS of respect around here.

    One plus to pregnancy in our house is that as my belly grows, husband begins taking over bath duty. I'd be lying if I didn't admit how much I love cleaning up dinner while he cleans the kids.

  6. I don't understand how you can make a post about a vacuum cleaner fun to read, but you do it! And somehow you should get some money from Dyson for this; I'm about ready to go out and buy one now! :)

  7. Lenae is jealous. Lenae's vacuum won't stand upright and it takes 3 tries to get the living room rug looking sort-of clean. This concludes Lenae talking in 3rd person about herself.

    "I can hear myself composing love poems to the beautiful appliance." Can I be looking forward to this on the next PerPoTues? DO IT!

  8. I am trying very hard not to be jealous of your Dyson.
    And I soooooo hear you on the baths at the end of the day. When my boys were littler sometimes I would put them to bed dirty and then bath them the next morning.

  9. Now I'll be dreaming of your Dyson every time I vacuum with my loud, beastly machine. Maybe someday I can join you in vacuuming bliss... *sigh*

  10. Do you bathe your girls every single day? Around here, the kids don't get baths nearly that often. A few times a week -- we're lazy -- but they also have eczema and their skin would be in agony if soaped up every night.

    As for vacuuming -- nothing will ever make me love it.

  11. Now if only all the toys and clothes and shoes and books on my floor would magically float into the air as I approach the are with my vaccuum, life would be perfect.

  12. I love my Dyson Animal. It actually makes vacuuming…dare I say it…enjoyable. Plus, my floors are actually clean when I'm done!

  13. You have my DREAM vaccuum! After I got my Rowenta iron, I knew that thsi was all I needed to make all my housewifely dreams come true...but for now I will have to live vicariously through you :-)

  14. I like our Dyson, but what I *really* want is a central vacuum system. Seriously, they're *amazing*. My mom even had these little suction-y spots put into the walls, so if she's sweeping with a broom she can just flip a switch and suck the crumbs up instead of bending down over a dust pan. This is what I fantasize about when I'm sweeping under the high chair!

  15. Love it!

    Although I don't agree about the selfish part. Sometimes, we are just DONE. Fork sticking done.

  16. I feel the same way about bathtime -- luckily Dave always gives Lily her bath while I take kitchen duty -- it's her special daddy daughter time -- maybe you could tell Justin that and guilt trip him into doing it for you ;)

    And the fact that you got a Dyson? Makes me jealous. Just a wee bit. My vacuum is pretty much just the way you described your old one!

  17. Sarah, only you could make vacuuming sound enjoyable! :]

  18. So fun! I recommend singing along to the Enchanted soundtrack while you do it to make it even better. That transformed dishwashing for me!


Hmm...And how did that make you FEEL?