Thursday, March 26, 2009

How To Make A Birthday T-Shirt For A 1-Year Old

In 12 easy steps.

1. Fall in love with a fancy boutique t-shirt which has dozens of tiny fluffy flowers sewn on in the shape of a 1. Be unwilling to pay the outrageous asking price.

2. Search a craft store with your sister-in-law, searching for tiny fluffy flowers.

3. Weeks before said birthday, leaving plenty of time for completion, purchase flowers and a tiny pink shirt on which to sew them.

4. Procrastinate until 3 days before the birthday party. Begin in earnest.

5. Pencil-in a huge number 1 onto the shirt for an outline in which the flowers will be placed. Realize that the shape you have drawn resembles something that should never be on a baby's shirt. Or anybody else's shirt outside of a bachelorette party, for that matter. Re-draw the 1 into a perfectly innocent 1. Pull your head out of the gutter.

6. Start placing tiny fluffy flowers in the outlined number, and sew sew sew.

7. Stab yourself repeatedly with the evil pointed metal stick (aka: needle) and try not to bleed on the shirt.

8. When your husband comes home, peeks at your half-complete project, and asks why you're making a big number 2 on the baby's shirt, give him the stink-eye until he admits that it appears to be a 1 after all.

9. Stay up late, forsaking your internet and novel in order to finish attaching the tiny fluffy flowers.

10. Realizing that you'd rather sleep, vow to finish the shirt sometime before the party. Shush the little angel on your shoulder whispering some nonsense about procrastination, and give a high-five to the little devil on your opposite shoulder. He's the coolest.

11. The next day, admit that you may not finish the shirt. Think about ordering the boutique shirt after-all, but notice that there is not enough time left for shipping. Grudgingly pick up the needle and thread again. Curse the tiny-ness of the tiny fluffy flowers.

12. Finish the shirt with a day to spare. Hooray! Contemplate what effect the first birthday cake will have on the tiny fluffy flowers. Decide to cover the shirt with a bib, thereby rendering your hard work and stab wounds unnecessary.


  1. Thank you for the belly laugh! Can't wait to see the shirt!

  2. You really should be writing for a magazine!!


Hmm...And how did that make you FEEL?