Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Problem Solving

Bedtime at Heavenly House, Act 1

Wife is slipping into something a little bit more flannel.  Husband is brushing teeth in his undies.  Bed is turned down, piled high with winter blankets, and husband falls in yawning like a bear before hibernation:loud and frightening.  Wife shuffles to doorway and flicks light switch.  Bedroom plunged into darkness.  Husband groans affectionately: darkness is nectar of gods.  Wife shuffles to bedside table.  Switches on lamp.  Husband morphs into cursing behemoth.  Wife lies down with book in hand.

Husband: Seriously?!  You're reading in bed?  TONIGHT?

Wife: Well...yeah...

Husband: You can't be serious.  I'm exhausted.  The light is so bright and I'm EX. HAUS. TED.  Please, please, please don't read tonight....

Wife: But...you always fall asleep within like four seconds -- even with the lamp on -- and then I'm left trying to wind down.  I have to turn off the voices in my head, and reading is how I do that!  What if I only read for a few minutes?

Husband: You're killing me. 

Wife:  But...just...

Husband: I'm dead.

Wife:...then you won't mind the lamp...?




Bedtime at Heavenly House, Act 2

Wife is slipping into husband's old sweats.  Husband is flossing teeth in his undies.  Bedside lamps are on, blankets are thick and cozy.  Husband shuffles to bed and falls in, groaning like a moose: loud and frightening.  Wife shuffles to bedside and smiles at husband before crawling under covers.  Husband and wife pick up books.

Wife: You seem to like the book, huh?

Husband: Yeah.  I stayed up past midnight last night, and I've been excited to read it all day.

Wife: Cool.

Husband:  I would have forgotten all about it if you hadn't dug it out of the packing boxes in the garage.  What made you think about it?

Wife: Oh, I don't know exactly...

Husband: Okay, whatever; shhhhh.  I wanna read.  G'night.

Wife: humming James Bond theme music....



THE END

12 comments:

  1. You are a mastermind :)
    But seriously, this has me laughing so hard! The dramatics especially on your hubbys end!

    ReplyDelete
  2. LOVE THIS!!
    And, "slipping into something a little bit more flannel" ? - hilarious... I'm totally going to steal this next time Hubby bugs me for sleeping in my long undies (in my defence I get up very early to walk the dog... I like to have my first layer on already.)

    ReplyDelete
  3. That's awesome. I love when husband and I can read in bed together. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Love it!! We've played out Act I several times....although amazingly Travis wasn't quite as dramatic ha ha ha. You are brilliant!

    ReplyDelete
  5. this is just fabulous, on all levels... :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Love this! So cute. You *are* devilish. A girls gotta read, right?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ha! This has happened to us before. Lately, though, my husband is asking if I'm going to read, so he can read too without worrying about bothering me. We read totally different books, but I'm just glad he is reading. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Well... I think this one's replaced the bodyless kangaroo post in the top spot :D

    ReplyDelete
  9. Replace book with tv, and sitch hubby and wife roles, and it's like you're describing an evening in our house.

    ReplyDelete
  10. My hubby has a hatred for the lights being on when he's trying to go to sleep too, but it always takes me SO much longer to wind down! Have you tried a booklight that might not distract him as much? Of course, your idea was a lot better than a booklight, lol! I enjoyed catching up on your latest posts. I hadn't posted for a year, and finally just updated my blog. Hope to hear from you soon!

    ReplyDelete

Hmm...And how did that make you FEEL?