Monday, June 4, 2012

Serenading a House


Oh, friends.  It started as a weekend of deep cleaning to get our house ready to go on the market, and it's ended with a napless baby, a clingy, back-talking Lauren, a distracted mama, and a focused daddy.  Mia is the only one of us who is running strong on all burners, and I'm super-double glad for that much.  She's excited and helpful and talkative and funny.

I'm exhausted and anxious and hiding my emotions by yelling too much.

But the house!  It looks GORGEOUS in here, you guys.  I looked around yesterday at our spotless living space, and declared this the perfect place to live.  I would totally buy this house.  If we hadn't already decided to sell it, that is.  But it's perfect.  There's not a speck, not a fluff, not a trail of dust in the whole place.  No clutter, either; we've cleared out about half of our belongings to make it seem open and airy and available. 

And we had plenty of help, too.  Our mothers washed windows and screens, scrubbed blinds and shades, dusted fan blades and shelves.  My aunt came over, tools in hand, unbidden, and began raking out our overgrown flower beds.  They are now pristine. 

I say again, I want to live here.  I do.  I don't want to goooo.  Only, we've made an offer on another, larger house, which the owners have accepted.  So our time is short.  Sob.

Last night, falling asleep in a clutter-free bedroom, in a dust-free house, on a manicured plot of land, I dreamed  I was auditioning for a musical show.  I climbed up on the stage, which actually turned out to be our roof, and belted my song for the judges.  My voice was pure and passionate.  I became the song, as sometimes happens in dreams -- my soul swelled with the notes. 

So cheesy, yes, and so revealing.  I sang to the house: And I.....will always love you...my darling you...  I was better than Whitney.  I was truer than Dolly.  I was the song and the song was me and the house, oh, the house, she sighed and pulsed with my singing.

I got the part in the musical, of course.  I was talented beyond measure.  But when it was time for the performance, with my name spelled in lights at the box office, I couldn't remember the words.  They faded as I moved further away from the house. 

And now you are free to question my mental stability, as you've probably already done many times by now.  I won't judge you.  I'll just please ask you to pass me a tissue while I gaze longingly at my clean, lonely home while we prepare drive away someday soon.

6 comments:

  1. Heheh. It's ok, Sarah. I've been caught singing to inanimate items, too. :)

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  2. Love the photo, and I can see why there are so many mixed emotions. But I'm excited for you, too!

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  3. Moving is such an exciting-wrenching time! I'm sure it must feel nice to have stream-lined your home too. When we moved here, we put a bunch of stuff in storage and my parents keep asking when we want to move it all over here...and I'm kind of like: "I just got RID of it. Why would I want it back?!" Seriously, I'm loving our minimalist home - even if I'm still too attached to some of the stuff we do have in storage to actually get rid of it. I do miss our pretty plates that were wedding gifts and my well-equipped kitchen though. One day, I'll ship that part out, when I get over being afraid of them breaking in transit. (And the other stuff is things we'll need if/when we come back and stuff from our childhood we can't quite let go.)

    AND I'm rambling. Anyway...yeah, leaving a beloved home is bittersweet. But I'm sure you'll love your new space and soon it too will fill with many wonderful memories! Good luck with the packing and the move!

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  4. I can relate to this. It's so hard to let go of places we've been happy and you have real roots in that house; it makes sense you'd be grieving, at least a little. But oh, I can't wait to hear about your next adventure!

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  5. Well Congratulations! I'm sure the house looks great and I'd live there too....if we didn't already have a house ;) I hope it sells soon for you and the transition goes smoothly, can't wait to hear more about it! P.S. wanna come deep clean my house....just because it needs it?

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  6. Oh, moving away from your first house is a lot like losing a love. Even when you know why it just can't work. It's home. (But, the new bigger house will be too.)

    Word to the wise - have someone else be there when the last things are moved. An empty adored house is too too much.

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Hmm...And how did that make you FEEL?