Summer Review

This would have been a few, short paragraphs, but after I wrote it, I realized that a Summer Review isn't a Summer Review until its littered with photos.  Happy Summer to you!

At the beginning of the summer, I was nervous. 

After having spent so much time alone with my girls as babies and toddlers, it was strange to have them go to their preschool and kid's day out programs.  I didn't know what to do without them, and I felt bad about letting others take care of them.

Then, during the school year, we figured out a rhythm of work and play that made sense for our days. I had gotten used to having time to myself a couple of mornings a week, and the girls loved the activities and friends at school.

So when summer loomed before us with nothing but unstructured weeks of long days during which I would be expected to occupy the kids by myself, I started to worry. 

Would I be able to keep them busy enough?  Engaged and entertained and active?

And I wondered when this shift from wanting NObody else to spend time with my kids turned into me wanting MORE people to help me fill my kids' days. 

I felt guilty that I was suddenly anxious about having no time to myself. 

But more practically, I worried about errands and grocery shopping and housecleaning. 

Those few hours meant a lot of easy work would suddenly become more difficult. 

Basically, I was dubious that we'd have an enjoyable summer together. 

I didn't trust myself to know what to do with my own kids, full time. 

Even though they'd only been gone for a few hours a week during the school year, the change seemed monumental.

Now, we're at the end of the summer. 

I'm happy -- so happy -- to report that it was fun. 

I actually can't remember another summer that I've enjoyed so fully. 

I didn't feel burdened by the constant presence of my rambunctious girls, which was a relief. 

I'm glad to know I wasn't capable of those feelings towards them, and glad to know that I CAN still be a full-time mom, even after being spoiled by the luxury of early preschool programs.

And at the same time, I'm ready to embrace again the routine of the school year. 

Our unstructured summer has been lovely, but I always had the promise of preschool's approach to help me get through our lazy days.

I'm rambling, I know.  I'll stop soon. 

But thanks for sticking with me as I remembered this summer -- so I can hold on to why I've loved it so much.