Q. What did we do on our most recent date?
A. I thought we were going to go for a bike ride together, but instead I took a 30-minute bike ride and you got red-faced and hyperventilated.
Q. Did you think I'd be able to go on a bike ride without expiring?
A. Only if it were a "motor" bike ride.
Q. What did I look like while I rode the bike?
A. You demonstrated expressions consisting of red-faced, white-legged joy, along with sheer pain and agony. Actually, typical expressions most cyclists express and experience during a ride, only minus the white legs and redness.
Q. Did you think I would ever fall completely over? (Because I sure thought I would...)
A. Honestly, not really. But I did think your balance would be better -- as it is, you looked like a newborn deer on wheels.
Q. What kinds of things do you notice on a usual bike ride, versus the things you think I noticed?
A. I have been riding for over a year now, and I don't think I've ever smelled all the things you claimed to smell on our ride. For example, dill and honeysuckle. You're the only person to have ever noticed those smells on a bike ride, ever.
Q. How fast did we go?
A. I'm not really sure, I fell asleep at some point and forgot to watch my computer.
Q. Was my whining annoying?
A. Of course.
Q. How can I gain enough balance to be able to take a drink of water while riding -- without crashing?
A. Since you're already 27 years old, probably nothing at this point.
Q. What part of our biking date was the funniest?
A. When you said your legs already hurt after riding about 30 yards.
Q. What part was the sweetest?
A. When you got hit by the dragon fly. That was definitely the "sweetest"! Okay, okay...the part where the sunset was shining up over the top of some high storm clouds, and it turned the edges rainbow colored, and you got all sappy...that was pretty sweet.
Q. Does it ever scare you when a car passes you? Because I thought I'd fall right over into the weedy ditch each and every time...
A. Sometimes. But I've never almost fallen off the side of the road like you did.
Q. If you could give me some advice on how to become a better bike-rider, what would you say?
A. Training wheels.
Q. Did I look cute with sweat pouring down my face and my mouth open wide, sucking air?
A. It was endearing.
Q. Did I look cute with a big, fat dragonfly splattered across my neck?
A. Again, it was the "sweetest" part of the ride. Your scream was hilarious.
Q. Why didn't you let me take my camera with us?
A. Because you couldn't even take one hand off your handle bars to take a drink of water, how were you supposed to take a picture?
Q. Should we go on another bike ride together?
A. I'd like that. Especially if you can get some spandex shorts...
I'd like that too, babe. Especially if you can get me a bike-seat made out of couch cushions. Thanks for a great date, my love!