Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Tuesdays Around The World: Today

Today I'm feeling the sweet tug of watching this little one get big.  She's so funny!  So talkative.  So shy around a roomful of people.  So uniquely charming and sensitive.  So sweet.


Sometimes when I look at my littlest girl, a thought passes through my mind before I can temper it with tact: I don't know you at all.  With her big sister, I feel like we've got so many similarities and differences, and I know them all.  I've considered them and gotten to know them and run my heart over the bumps and dips in her heart, gaining understanding about what makes her tick. I know herBut with my baby -- my tiny girl -- I don't know her like that yet.  I love her beyond my ability to put words to it, and I love the relationship she has with her sister and daddy, but...I feel such an ache to curl up inside her soul and soak myself in her personality.  So I can know her more fully. 


Having burdened her with the title of 'second child', will I ever be able to know her this way?  All of my time is split.  (Which, to be sure, I am happy to do.  I always hoped to have more than one or two kids, so why is this bothering me now?)  All the solitary time I spent with my big girl is never something that my little girl will experience.  She will always have shared me.  Then, what happens when/if we have a third child?  My worrying mind wonders if my chance to know this sweet girl has passed me by?

And then I remember: She's growing up, but I will be here every step of the way. 

I will grow into knowing her, as she will grow into herself. 

There is time.


This post is included in Tuesdays Around The World at Communal Global.  Head over to link YOUR Today with others from across the globe.

11 comments:

  1. Oh Sarah! You wrote that so well. I think it is beautiful that you care about the close bond! I can tell her that you love her so much.

    Perfect post. As always, thank you SO very much for joining Communal Global today. We welcome you and are delighted to have you!

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  2. You described so much of what I feel with Paige :)
    Those pictures make me smile, she is so sweet!!

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  3. What a wonderful post...it's what I've been feeling about my youngest, but not been able to put properly into words...

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  4. what a beautiful blog!! i'm definitely following :) thanks for your sweet comment earlier!

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  5. I echo the others who have confirmed that it's the same feeling they have with their second. Just remember what I try to tell myself...you and I, we are seconds, too...and look how much our mamas love us! :)

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  6. so sweet...I remember feeling like this with mu 2nd child. How could I possibly love her and know her as well as i know her older brother!! Time is amazing though isn't it!!

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  7. As a mother of three, I would say that the relationship your middle child will be different. I find myself making time to spend more alone time with him, since he isn't the baby or the oldest. I always want him to feel that he has a special relationship with me too and it is just for him. Does that make sense?

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  8. Lovely post! You know you will have one on one time to get to know her as big sister goes to school and she is still at home for most of the time and even with her sister to consider as she gets more communicative and her little personality shines through you will really get to know her. I know with my daughter the real getting to know you started when she was about two and is ongoing and totally fascinating to participate in.

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  9. I don't have kids, but I'm a second child. I don't have a problem with always having a brother in my life! :)

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  10. Wow, that second picture, she's getting so tall and looking just like Mia!

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  11. ''I feel such an ache to curl up inside her soul and soak myself in her personality"-- that is just how I've been feeling with my baby girl. Beautifully said!

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Hmm...And how did that make you FEEL?