Who's Afraid Of The Big, Bad Bill?

The fresh, spring air of yesterday must have cleared my senses long enough to show me the fog of laziness that had encompassed my February. I woke up this morning with a flurry of activities planned for myself while the girls were in school. Boring stuff I'd put off too long, for no other reason than that I didn't want to do it.

Paperwork and errands and bill paying. Laundry. Menu planning and grocery-list-making. Garden outlining, lettuce and broccoli plant buying, tree fertilizing.

My spring-infected nostrils became a gateway to my brain and I was left with determination.

Things would get DONE today.

And they did! Mostly, anyway. The laundry is ever a beastly work in progress, and the tree fertilizing is on tap for this afternoon. But the thing I'm most proud of? The task I'd put off for much longer than is safe for our credit and finances and peace of mind: Bill paying.

So simple.

So tedious.

So dreaded.

What is it with me and bills? It's not the spending money part; I'm cool with that. (Or at least resigned to it.) And we don't have alot of debt, either, so I'm not ticked off with interest or overspending. I'm just talking about regular utilities, for the most part: electric, water, internet, cell phones. I think I just hate the monotony of the job. The bills which aren't set up to automatically deduct from our bank come around every month -- clockwork. And I pay them every month -- forget about the clockwork, though.

I stack the bills in a pile until I wake up one morning and think, Crud! What day is it? Isn't there a bill that's due TODAY? YESTERDAY?! And I rustle around in the stack until I find a bill which needs to be payed immediately. I send it on its merry postal way, but forget completely about the bills that were just screaming pick me! pick me! and which are due within a few days' time.

Those, I leave until another frantic morning of date-worrying.

It's a cycle from which I can't seem to break loose. I've tried setting up Excel spreadsheets to track what's due and when: I forget to use it. I've tried circling days on my calendar about important due dates: I'm good for that month, and then forget about the next.

That's the problem, I think.

It never ends.

I feel a sense of accomplishment when the bill stack is proficiently distributed, checks snuggled in their warm little envelopes, stamps giving them flight across the country...I feel good about finishing the job.

It's a farce, though, right? The job of bill paying doesn't GET finished. It merely hibernates for 30 days and wakes up again with an insatiable appetite for my checkbook. At which point I put it off until I'm free of other, more entertaining obligations. Only when there's nothing else on my to-do list (which includes such necessaries as Read Blogs and Write Blogs) or I face the embarrassment of castigation from my trusting husband do I whine and stomp and pout and scribble out a few checks.

I've promised Justin SO MANY times that he doesn't need to worry about the bills: I can take care of this one thing while he works hard to support our family.

But can I?

This has been my domain for the past 5 years or so, and I think it's safe to say that I've proven myself unworthy. Should I just turn it all over to him -- him with a degree in finance and a career in the banking industry -- and admit defeat? Should I work at it until I GET it? Should I hide my head under a rock (where rock = wireless computer, cookbook, or novel) with shame for not having the will power to whip my lazy self into shape?

How does the bill-paying work in your household? (If it's not too forward of me to ask...) Are you good at it? Are you terrible, like me? Is there some magic solution you use to stay on top of the mundane, recurring household jobs that go along with adulthood?

And, pray tell, is there any hope for me?