tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2356238098880523445.post6766460229050895270..comments2023-05-17T09:11:39.306-05:00Comments on This Heavenly Life -- Messy, Loud, Always Worthwhile: An Open Letter To My Local Wal-MartThis Heavenly Lifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14586469381231517883noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2356238098880523445.post-47189040010929693152009-06-03T21:11:13.754-05:002009-06-03T21:11:13.754-05:00DON'T DO IT ANON.! Nobody needs to know how o...DON'T DO IT ANON.! Nobody needs to know how often I purchase the entire fleet of walmart donuts and how often! An intervention might be staged...and then what would my poor children do without the sugar-happy mother they know and love?!<br /><br />Oh, it's too much. I'll just have to delete the part about the nukes...but wait, that goes against my rights of free speech...what's an addict to DO?!This Heavenly Lifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14586469381231517883noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2356238098880523445.post-84527938760751358202009-06-03T21:03:01.382-05:002009-06-03T21:03:01.382-05:00As a proud Wal-Mart Associate, I feel I should res...As a proud Wal-Mart Associate, I feel I should respond on behalf of my beloved company. First of all, we do have cart inspectors in our company. ALong with people who study how often to put a cart corral in the parking lot to make sure that no matter where you park, they are always just a tad too far away. We also have people who study the exact height of 3 year olds and position the really good toys and candy right in her line of vision (they are that good!). In addition, we have a highly trained team of professionals who researches possible threats to Wal-Mart posted by what appear to be your normal run-of-the-mill stay-at-home moms who blog about their beautiful daughters and the trials of having wisdom teeth removed while secretly covering up complicated plots to blow up the world's largest retailer. The mere fact that you mentioned Wal-Mart and a nuclear attack in the same blog entry probably just bought you another "This Heavenly Life" fan for life-only I don't think they leave comments. Sorry. To make matters worse, they will begin compiling a record of every thing you have purchased from Wal-Mart, ever, and very soon will be sharing this list with the police, the FBI, the CIA, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms, your kindergarten teacher and your mother. So, my friend, while you see that the shopping cart with the bum wheel was a nuissance to your weekly Wal-Mart trip, it was actually an important piece of a very complicated master plan designed to capture violent criminal threats (like yourself) from harming our poor little shoppers. And to think that you would dare complain...the nerve! And I will leave you with one last thought...we have crunched the numbers and are fully prepared to go to the press with some staggaring information if it comes to that. We know the total number of donuts we are talking about and we are not afraid to use it...so help me Sam.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2356238098880523445.post-2615593972701575602009-06-03T08:39:46.495-05:002009-06-03T08:39:46.495-05:00I second that suggestion...Sarah, you are too funn...I second that suggestion...Sarah, you are too funny. I am crying, because it's so true. Good luck trying to find a cart with a properly working seatbelt, also.;)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2356238098880523445.post-21182776336519448212009-06-01T22:27:44.026-05:002009-06-01T22:27:44.026-05:00You really should send this to Wal-Mart. If nothin...You really should send this to Wal-Mart. If nothing else, I'm sure someone would get a kick out of it!Cortneynoreply@blogger.com